Pagod pero di makatulog. I’m thinking of a million things. Sana mas mahimbing tulog mo. For poor restless souls sleep less. Kalinaw kanimo niining gabihonan samtang layo pa ang upat ka bulan. Days seem longer when you’re waiting. Ikaw akong pinaskuhan. Hulat sa.

At sa wakas, dumating na ang antok. Dahan-dahan…napapaibig mo ako. I’m scared I might lose sight of that which I have no vision. Tulog sa, tulog, katuog.Pagod pero di makatulog. I’m thinking of a million things. Sana masmahibing tulog mo. For poor restless souls sleep less. Kalinaw kanimo niining gabihonan samtang layo pa ang upat ka bulan. Days seem longer when you’re waiting. Ikaw akong pinaskuhan. Hulat sa. At sa wakas, dumating na ang antok. Dahan-dahan…napapaibig mo ako. I’m scared I might lose sight of that which I have no vision. Tulog sa, tulog, katuog.

!!!

So my room has been messy lately.

It’s a sign.

My head is in the clouds.

Edit

On that note, I should do the following things today when possible:

- Laundry

- Clean my room

- Workout

- Finish the book Lauren lent me

- Write a couple of e-mails

- Call Quasi back

- (Possibly) hang out with Jesus (a guy I work with)

- Set goals for the week

And of course…

A task I need not divulge.

Edit 2

…Or just listen to some 90s songs.  This one kind of encapsulates how I feel lately.

Too much 90s! Here’s another one.  Absolutely tasteful…

And one of my favorites of all time.  She’s a queen on my book.

Garbage’s music was a big part of my adolescence.  She might have been my first white girl crush.  Hmm, that sounded wrong.

And finally, the song which fairly describes my spirit.

Like I always say: you can’t talk peace with a gun.

September 8, 2012 1 note

peacemilfgph

Uhm…

In other news, my head has been revisiting some themes.  It has something to do with the fact that R.D.L. finally replied to my e-mail.  It seems I finally caught her attention by talking about my “problems” for a change as opposed to talking through hers.  And mind you, I haven’t used my rant card for such a long time it almost felt like I poured out like a different person in my last e-mail.

She and I are completely synced when it comes to literary sensibility. We both agree that Kundera’s Unbearable Lightness of Being is the bible of lovers.  Last year, I told her I was going to emulate Tomas as soon as I come to the states. I decided I was above heartache and the only way to go about it is to wrap my head around the philosophy that my being has an unbearable lightness.  It seems counter-intuitive to explain the whole deal about it - you will just have to read the book.  Just imagine that I embraced this state of mind for some time, not merely to protect myself but to stay open.

“You’re a Teresa!” I remember RDL once telling me at the height of my tragic affairs.  It is a serious charge.  Hopelessly romantic Teresa: she gives her everything, leaves none for herself, pushed to the wall at some point, finds herself running away and then running back.  Sometimes when I read the book (I’ve reread it with different interpretations every time) I would feel my stomach churn at the thought of what Teresa is capable of: loyalty.  And there was Tomas.

But in the end, loyalty prevailed, somehow.  The book ended leaving readers with more questions.  The ending was absurd, but has its intrinsic lessons to impart.

At times I reflect and try to measure the weight of my being.  I guess you could say that I’ve tamed its lightness, without discounting the possibility of flight.

As a recent US immigrant, this upcoming elections is making me a little nervous - I am nervous that the American people will allow a man like Romney to become the next president.  If I had voting rights, I would vote for Obama.  It is not only in my best interest as an immigrant who is affected by the US economy and its policies, but also as a non-US citizen - a member of the world community.  Why is this important?

In retrospect of the 2008 elections, from an outside looking in perspective, the rest of the world benefited from the installation of Obama’s administration.  If you lived outside America, you’ll truly feel the ripples of the changes in US foreign policy within that transition period.  In four years, I can’t stress enough how the Obama administration has managed to change America’s former position of aggressive bullying of other nations to a more diplomatic and (frankly) more civilized foreign policy. There are too many procedural changes that go unnoticed, but these details made all the difference.  In my story, the US easily granted me 10 years of residency, same goes with immigrants who were processed under the Obama administration.  My brother who was petitioned earlier (under Republican immigration policy) by an AMERICAN citizen was only given 2 years - which to me makes no sense.  Please do the math.  We are tax-paying non-citizens who have invested our future in America and are now spending money and providing our work hours IN America. Obama’s more refined immigration policies empowered people like me to feel the support in pursuing our goals in an American context.  So he is definitely the worthy president on my book.

Now from the inside looking out, I don’t want to live in a nation which is blatantly misogynist and with policies threatening the freedom of its people and of other nations. You already know where I stand on the issue of equality.  The Republican stance on this is absolutely IMMORAL and has no compassion whatsoever. Now, if it’s a question of who better to handle economics, the heart of it is in the housing problem. 

Romney has not proposed any meaningful policies that will relieve people from their housing woes, a bubble which burst in 2006 crippling Americans and its economy.  Obama’s administration tried to refinance loans through the Home Affordable Refinance Plan, or HARP and so far it has helped 1.4 million refinances. There’s still a lot of work to be done. Eventually, the housing market will pick itself back up, but it’s important to see plans like HARP come in to fruition.  

It’s actually IMPRACTICAL to install a new administration which will inevitably hurt policies that ALREADY work.  Radical changes at this point will hurt the stability of America’s slow but steady recovery.

Also, I agree with Clinton (refer to DNC speech) on his point about job creation.  There have been many jobs created under Obama’s administration, but not enough skilled workers within the market.  Why do you suppose you have so many skilled immigrants stepping in to do it?  Not because jobs are being taken away from Americans - saying that in blanket terms is utterly fallacious.  US needs to take a look at equipping people to take on the jobs that have been created.  Next step is to look forward and invest more money on education and special skills training.  Freeing up the education system and putting in more budget for something as simple as financial aid will keep students in school instead of them dropping out every few semesters just because they can’t afford to be in school.  The sooner they finish, the sooner you’ll have skilled workers in the job market.

Lastly, on the issue of health care.

I don’t know where my mom got the idea, but she fears that she’s at risk of her insurance being cancelled in lieu of the move to make health care more accessible to lower income earners.  She is likewise worried that her premium costs will significantly increase under the Obamacare.  First of all, mom, you are not about to lose your insurance.  The company cannot cancel your plan due to small technicalities in your contract.  Secondly, yes, rates will go up as a buffer for some of the rules now imposed on private insurers (less restrictions on coverage) and for reasons totally unrelated to the health law such as the increase of medical costs per se and additional fees imposed by the company.  In any case, I don’t see why you don’t have the option to opt for a Medicare where, according to Paul Krugman, there is less beaurocracy, greater bargaining power and better than the private sector when it comes to controlling costs.

Education, immigration, marriage equality, health coverage for all and economic support: keys to America’s improvement on a global scale.  I’d like to see America move to become a more socially just and postmodern state, defined by the constituents that it supports and empowers.

Now, for some comic relief:

September 7, 2012 2 notes

ObamaUS ElectionsDNC

Bill Clinton’s DNC speech is inspiring.

oxane:

zach mccaffree

Is this a prime example of a…badunkadunk?